Getting by with a little help from my friends. (That'd be you)

Hubster forwarded this post to me from Seth Godin's Blog this morning. Although he writes primarily about the business world, and marketing in particular, I think it's spot-on for those of us who stagnate at times in our decorating attempts.  So I'm passing it on to you....

No, everything is not going to be okay

It's natural to seek reassurance. Most of us want to believe that the choices we make will work out, that everything will be okay.
Artists and those that launch the untested, the new and the emotional (and I'd put marketers into all of these categories) wrestle with this need all the time. How can we proceed knowing that there's a good chance that our actions will fail, that things might get worse, that everything won't end up okay? In search of solace, we seek reassurance.
So people lie to us. So we lie to ourselves.
No, everything is not going to be okay. It never is. It isn't okay now. Change, by definition, changes things. It makes some things better and some things worse. But everything is never okay.
Finding the bravery to shun faux reassurance is a critical step in producing important change. Once you free yourself from the need for perfect acceptance, it's a lot easier to launch work that matters.
(emphasis mine)

Here's my take on how this applies to being artful in homemaking/decorating/crafting:

1) Don't fear screwing up.  I truly HATE not getting things right the first time.  I want affirmation that this new thing I'm going to try WILL WORK, knowing that decorating is a very emotional investment of my time, money and energy.  I don't want to go back and say "what a waste of my ____!"  But art (like life) never comes with guarantees.

As artists of our homes, we need to embrace the truism that very little of what we do will be 'perfect' the first time around....or even the second or third in my case.  Stop laughing.

Isn't it just a matter of perspective?  What if we saw our pursuits in decorating as just that....a pursuit, a journey?  Knowing from the get-go it will need tweaked and perhaps even scrapped when it's done?  Our 'fails' are actually just evidence of our own evolution and learning, as well as a way to define what it is that really lights our fire....our LOVES.  Sometimes starting with just an eek of vision is enough to steer us into decorating nirvana.  I very rarely start with a finished 'look' in mind when I attack a new project.  I don't have that kind of logical brain...more like a feeling, or an inspiration of some sort. I also don't have the finances to start from scratch with furniture and accessories.  (And that would take a lot of the fun out of it anyway.) I usually start with some pictures and what I already have.

 

That's what I did with my bedroom....and it didn't come together like I planned.  So I threw a tantrum.  I played the 'why can't I do anything right' dirge in a minor key, threw up my hands, and chalked it up to a 'fail'. But then yesterday I decided to go shop....hit 3 thrifts, 2 antique shops, Home Depot, and Hancock fabric.  Oh, and craigslist.....ended up with some more inspiration in the form of fabric and some antique dressers.

And last night I sewed some ruffled pillow cases....ruffles make me very, very happy.

And you know what else?  In putting together my room, I realized I 'missed' certain things I'd recently discovered as my LOVES....and was able to spot them while out shopping.  Faded florals and farmhouse furniture, for instance.  See:

 This fabric will soon be shams....

 

This antique dresser will replace...

my shabby chic dresser.....

And after getting all giddy about some curtain panels I'd sewn up from one single panel I had purchased somewhere or other a while ago, I knew my original plan of a plain roman shade would prolly be best, with longer panels in the future.

(But tell me my short panels were cute, eh? The crewelwork was the long side of the panel, I cut it in half and put it on the bottom and added the ruffle.  I'm disappointed it didn't work for this room though.  Maybe I can reincarnate them into something else one day....)

And seeing the 'whole' helped me see I really wanted something more along the lines of this:

Instead of this:

So now I'm on the hunt for an iron bed frame....after I sell off the dresser and headboard. :)

2) Don't be afraid to either hear the truth or to move forward without  affirmation.
This is really hard for us in the decor blogworld.  We thrive on comment affirmation, no?  When I'm reading thru comments on my blog, I love the positive affirmation on my attempts to make my house a home.  I think I'd be pretty devastated if someone came along and criticized my work.  That said, though, sometimes you just need to hear the truth, ya know?  For instance, Donna of Funky Junk fame offered up a post where commenters could critique not only her blog, but the decor/craft blogsphere itself.  It was marvelous.  That kind of 'realness' helps everyone.  


There's times, like now as I wrestle with my bedroom, that I struggle to show you how stuck I am.  Because it's not going to be ok.  Because there are limitations to my decorating skill, our finances, the structure of our home, my time.....again, it will never be an English cottage, a beach bungalow, a vintage farmhouse, or a historic foursquare.  So I languish away doing nothing, or trying something that ends up not working (read my post on the revolving furniture or ask me how many times I paint any given room), getting frustrated, and giving up. In my desparation, I'm gonna show you the room as it looks right now (which I should mention is a FABULOUS way to get a better perspective on what's working and what's not.) 

So now, dear readers, I seek not affirmation on what I've done, but some ideas on how to move toward the inspiration pictures I posted above.

Here's some specific things I'd like some help with....
The roman shade idea.  Should I go with white, or with a shade of blue similar to my beloved (but not working) panels?  Or a tan to match the bedding?  What color for panels, then?  I don't have chunky window trim, so I think I'll need something to balance the window with my huge bed.  Remember, I want to use an iron headboard eventually.  Just the whisper of something for the panels to fall behind.  The window treatment itself will be the 'headboard'.  But I also don't want anything too dramatic. More farmhouse cozy. 

Closets....the bane of my existence.  You can just see the side of one in the picture.  One whole wall of closets in which we removed the ugly (and non functional) sliding doors (how I hated them) are now draped in too short white panels and valances that made from a bedskirt that matches my current bedskirt.  Help.  They look just, um, wrong.  Maybe I should just raise the valance to ceiling level?  Ugh.  I'm at my wits end coming up with workable solutions.  Really don't want to spend any more money on them, but realize that maybe the only solution will entail buying new bifold doors.  Painted white?  Or the wall color? 

Any other thoughts?  I will say the the bed must stay under the window.  There are no other walls big enough to accomodate it.  The new farmhouse dresser will go beside the bed on the closet side, but I'd like to keep the other side as it is with the little nightstand and rattan chair.  That will leave the wall opposite the bed EMPTY.  An oh how I dread big empty walls. Right now, my shabby chic wide dresser sits there.  When it's gone, it will leave a gaping hole.  Ideas????

Sorry this has been so long and rambly.  I've been working on this post since yesterday afternoon after getting home from shopping.  Then the Seth Godin post this morning really hit me.  I thank you for hanging in with me, and I'm ready to hear all your wisdom and advice...and iff'n you got some Godiva chocolate, I'd take that too.