11.13.2009

My reality. The extreme home edition.

So after an all-day excursion to IKEA yesterday (5 hours of driving round trip), I crashed into bed at 7:30 last night....only to wake up at 4am.  Hit the blogsphere (bad idea) and got myself into such a funk about how shallow, uncouth, ugly, and hopeless I am as I compared my house, my body, my clothes, my children, my blog, and even my dog to all the perfect women out there who blog for bliss (someone please tell me what the flip that means???).  These are the same ones who will say they aren't perfect because in one photo there's a baby stroller parked on their shiny kitchen floor.  They are amazing beautiful, thin, and dress in trendy clothes. They talk about decorating on a budget while they have granite countertops. Their homes look like Restoration Hardware catalogues.  Their nails are always done while they wield a pink powertool.  They have hubbies who can leap over tall buildings in a single bound, kids who are models for the GAP, and their pets don't shed or sh*t.

Do I sound bitter? insecure? jealous?  you bet'cha. Well, just for funsies, lest any of my on-the-brink-of-200 followers think *that* is my reality, I offer up the following unretouched, unfuzzifyied tour of my home as of 30 minutes ago.  Young children should be removed from the room.  It's truly horrifying. Just sayin'.

Exhibit A: I have  boys who leave their crap things everywhere. They take after their adoring mama.



 (notice black Bogart hair clinging religiously to my sofa)
 



Exhibit B: I have 2 teenager girls.  Their rooms are highly classified intelligence generally, but for all you adoring fans, I declassified them just this once.  The following have been rated SDD for Stunningly Disgusting and Disturbing. I've made an art form of picking my battles.


 (her desk with the evidence of a week's worth of swine flu, I refuse to touch them.)
 
 



I will spare the more sensitive members of my audience the brazen gore of their bathrooms.  Yes, I love you just that much.

Exhibit C:  I'm a messy very artistic person. Behold my craft room.  I'll wait a few minutes afterwards in case you need to wipe down your monitor after spewing.
 

 
What...you thought I was kidding?

Exhibit D:  I don't like to clean my house.  At all.
Laundry can be found myraid fashion all over the house at any time.
For instance, on the floor dirty (see also: "I have 2 teenage girls/little boys"):



On the floor clean but unfolded in baskets in the computer/reading room with miscellaneous items spilling over from the aforementioned craft room:



Wadded up and dirty in front of the dryer:



Or on my bedroom floor, just across the way from the laundry closet:


I also just about never make my bed.

And in various positions around the actual washing devices. Please also notice my plethora of homeless home decor.  I thought I was being soooo organized and clever to store them up there.  This is what everyone sees as they walk past to get to the guest bathroom.  Yes, I have no pride.  And yes, the bathroom is even scarier.




The kitchen.  I hate to cook and I hate to clean up dishes.  Don't judge.  And don't tell Martha.



More evidence of swine flu.  At least the vitamin bottle is empty.
Hallway/entrance:
 
Computer/Reading Room:


Close up of my IKEA booty:


 Upstairs game/craft area:
 
 Yes, even MORE evidence of swine flu.  *sigh*


And lest we forget I have two boys, this is their very UN-Pottery Barn Room, sans the wet pull-ups that I made my son remove for this photo shoot.  I just didn't have the heart to show the world *that*.
(but please be impressed by the heywood wakefield furniture)


 

Now how impressed are you?  Do you think these shots are feature-worthy?  Oh come on.  Just say it.  I live in a disorganized pig sty.  It's ok, I can handle it.  Actually, I shock even myself sometimes with the messes around my home.  Seeing them posted for all posterity is quite cathartic though. I'll have some amazing before and afters, yeah?

So, dear readers, when I do post a before and after or some crafty thing...just refer back to this post so you keep it all in perspective. I'm a jealous wanna-be like most girls, and I feel bad about myself when I see other boogers' bloggers' amazing homes and talent and thighs, then make myself post sweet comments because I really do believe practicing kindness in the face of jealousy is the path to nirvana (or at least the path to maturity, which I actually do hope to achieve someday)  I just want people to know the real me (and what my home looks like most days), and then tell me they like me. It's too stressful trying to keep up the blissful blogger persona. 

Thankfully hubby understands all these major shortcomings in my character and quietly helps me shovel out and disinfect our nest on the weekends. He cooks most nights too.  Hands off---he's mine.
And no, this will not be posted to any link parties.  Thanks for asking.

 okaybye.

(*tap* *tap* *tap*...this thing on?  Ahem.  So, I got brave an actually posted this to The Lettered Cottage for their Favorites of 2009 Posts Link Party.  'Cause I'm just that dumb.
I actually have written a few other posts I'm proud--which can be seen HERE--but this one sure got a big response both in the comments and via email...which sorta freaked my out.  Kidding.)

55 comments:

Funky Junk Interiors said...

I have the perfect cure for you.

Go back to Ikea. It's so clean there. And they cook for you too... I'm going to marry Ikea, yes I am.

This post is soooo honest and had me laffin! I can see your valiant attempts at beautifying, peeking through the everyday remnants of life. I can soooo relate!

Now excuse me while I go dress for the day and put on my very best ripped AND dirty jeans. True story I'm sad to say.

Feel better now?

Donna

Love the Decor! said...

You crack me up!!
Have a great weekend!!

Anonymous said...

ahhhh home sweet home!
I can relate! I am a SAHM who cooks nearly every night (hubby works long hours), homeschools our 9 year old, referees the 15 month old who loves refuse napes and leave a path of destruction (what should be in the garbage can comes out/ what doesn't go in, does & has learned to strip naked and take her diaper off), a goldfish cracker crumb trail, large white boxer mix that sheds overwhere, and housecat that knocks things down from the counters.... and laundry that never.ever. ends... ahhhhh

Deb said...

FINALLY...an honest woman!!! I cannot believe all those people who have 500+ followers and must be first cousins to Martha, if you can go by the looks of their homes. That's just not reality for most of us "normal" people!! Thanks so much for such a wonderful post!!!

Heidi@TheCraftMonkey said...

ok, first of all, how dare you break into my house and secondly, how RUDE of you to post pictures of my home on the internet!! Whew...so glad I'm not the only one who's house looks like this, YES, I agree, I SOOOO feel like I don't "measure up" to all those "awesomely perfect" blogger out there. When I take pictures of my projects, I'm lucky if I can find a clear spot to put it to take it's picture...LOL and PS what are those little toys in the first 2 pictures, they look like something my son would LOVE!

Wanda said...

Wanda@TwoCarolinaNesters said...

I like you even more now. Thanks for being honest - everybody should be more like you.
Truth be told, their houses are not so perfect all the time. You house is a "home" - just like it should be.

Joyce @ Cheap Frills said...

I think LOTS of us are in the same boat. I know I am! :)

Autum said...

No link parties?? Darn, I was just about to grab my camera and join. My reality is similar. My kitchen stays pretty clean, that's why I post about it on my blog. My garage, laundry room, master bath- those aren't bog worthy 99% of the time. My craft/sewing room looks very much like yours right now. I want to be sewing, but I can't see the surface of my cutting table. I keep delaying the cleaning process by looking at "just one more thing" on the internet. Want to get really real? How about the puddle of pee I clean up off my kitchen floor at least 3 times a day left by my 15 year old chihuahua- despite the fact I take her out 25 times a day. Don't beat yourself up about the reality or the jealousy- you aren't alone!

Isabella & Max Rooms said...

Kudos to you for posting this!! I admire you. My messes don't compare, I am a neat freak, I'll admit it. I hope I'm not one of the women you refer to in your post, I don't have done nails (though I used to prior to having kids!)and my hair is dripping wet from a late shower. I got one today. But I do like my home just so, probably because I waited so long to have one...
it takes us all to built a community and I enjoy that each of us is unique with lives that reflect our own stories.
Janell

myrepurposedlife.blogspot.com said...

cindy.... I think more of us can relate than you realize!
When we craft and life gets in the way, it happens!
I saw a blog the other day, where someone went to a thrift store to purchase items for their ahem "guest house" are you kidding me? I do good to take care of one house, let alone a guest house! :)
I hope you enjoy your friday the 13th. Cool stuff from ikea. I've only been once, but I enjoyed it.
working all week at my daughter's house, lunch break is now over.
take care!
gail

Heather said...

Thanks for the honesty! I have BOYS (11, 8, and 5) and my house is a maze of legos and mine field of Bakugan. Just for kicks you should hop over to my blog and check out what happens to your yard if your pool explodes. ;o)

Anonymous said...

LOVE YOU! You just made me feel a MILLION times better! I am a SAHM to 2 kiddos. (4 & 3) The make more messes than I can keep up with! You are honestly my new Super Hero!

You really should have known to let me know that you were going to IKEA! I have never been there, and have been DYING to go. ..... no, you don't know me. ha ha ha Although, we have to live near each other. I'm also from the NE Indiana area. (I prefer the couch though) :D

Would LOVE to go thrifting with you sometime!

Decatur, IN

Kelly Howard said...

Now I can breathe a sigh of relief for MYSELF and all my shortcomings! And guess what?!?! I love ya just the way you are!!! You are still one of my fav bloggers and always will be! I can say that I truly appreciate your honesty...bloggers can decorate their words better than their homes. Blogging can inspire folks but it can also knock you down and belittle you! I NEEDED your honesty today! You, Miss Cindy, are PRICELESS!

Kelly Howard said...

BTW, I wanted to give you the all famous chest thump with a peace sign for KEEPIN IT REAL!!!lol!

Claudia said...

Ah, don't you think we are all that way? We are. I don't have kids, but I do have two long-haired dogs and their hair is everywhere. I have to de-clutter tables, etc. before I take a photo. I have never posted photos of our bedrooms/offices because they have a bit too much clutter - I totally understand your post and so appreciate you keeping it real!

Tracie Yule said...

This is the best post on a decorating blog that I've seen in a long, long time! I love to try new things and decorate, but I know myself and my house cannot compare to those other lovely bloggers. I always wonder how they live?

I'm a clean freak and my house can be found littered with toys, sofa pillows on the floor, newpaper piling up and dishes on the counter. Let's not even go into my bonus boys rooms. They are awful (I let them decorate their own rooms and they are messy).

This post made me feel like a fit in :)

Linda said...

Amen sister!!! You are not alone...hope you have a FUN weekend!

Blessings,
Linda

The White Farmhouse said...

Oh girl I am right there with you! You know I used to get so upset about not being "perfect" but then I realized that I do have a purpose. I am that factor you can judge the others against! I make the perfect look more perfect.

I was sooo proud of my bedroom that I posted pics of it on Rate My Space. Imagine my horror when I realized there was for God and everyone to see a used condom on the floor. Never noticed that! My life is a zoo, my house is a pigsty, my kids are nuts but atleast we bring a smile to others faces. Besides a dirty house means my MIL and SIL don't visit often! Bonus!

Lori said...

Love, love, love this post!! I love the honesty and how you laid it all out there!! I dream of homes that I see here in blog land but I am sure I will never live in one of them. You are a real person and I love that you did this real post!

jen said...

oh what a breath of fresh air you are -- i've thought before of having some type of "REALITY" linking party or whatever they are called, of how are houses REALLY look! this is reality! i love it and love your honesty and look how great you made everyone feel! i dont' feel so bad about that pile of dishes behind me righ tnow!

Flat Creek Farm said...

Thank you, Cindy, for keepin' it real. Ahhhh... that was refreshing! Now I'm off to tackle my two days' worth of dirty dishes, dirty floors, heapin' baskets full o' clean laundry, and toss in a side of decluttering :) It's just been one of *those* weeks, what can I say? -Tammy

Susie~From My Home To Yours said...

You are way too funny girl! I can totally relate. Only in my fantasies am I a terrific homemaker. Usually when I take pics to post, I just straighten up the direct area I'm photographing. I rarely post a pic of an entire room....cause I've just moved all the junk to one side. My husband will come home and see a mess and say "have you been taking picures again for that blog thing?". Life's too short...at least we are perfect in God's eyes!
Have a great weekend.
Susie

Candace said...

I love the pictures. I do think most of the bloggy crafty women's pictures are cleaned up, staged and unrealistic. I just started a blog to share my projects and have to put the extra effort in to hide the 400 toys, dirty clothes, diapers, boogers on the wall... from my 4 messy little boys,and dare I say power tools surrounded by my younglings!:) Things aren't always as they look! It makes me feel better to hear your story.

Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish said...

Seriously - we can't do a link party on this? Cause I think my fantastic stack-o-full-laundry baskets could be an excellent post on how to save space! Or perhaps feature the beautiful pattern of cat hair that is on my couch? Wait wait - perhaps a full on rant on why i think making the bed is pointless unless my mom or mother in law is coming... :)

You are brave for posting this and I love you for it! I think we all do a little "staging" to make our lives look better to the outside world. And I applaud you for putting it all out there! (hugs!)

Gina Sisco said...

Gal, I want to hang with you!!! I have 3 different "crafty-creating spaces in my house because they are all full of crap and I cant navigate. I give my 2 year old my new cellphone to play with so I can spray paint a lamp and in the meantime my 8 year old left a blue popsicle sitting on the tan carpet, or the time they played in the glitter while I was trying to sew, or when they dumped the glitter on the carpeted bathroom floor, which I still havent vacuumed all the way out. Phew, thanks I needed a reminder why I am doing this blogging, creating thing, supposed to be because I enjoy making something out of nothing, not because I have 3 bathrooms, 6 fireplaces, and have a perfectly manicured everything. I live in the real world where my home, kids and husband all drive my crazy, but still love them to death, but would appreciate another hour a day to play for myself!!! Thanks for your honesty. U GO GIRL!!!

mrsatch said...

Oh, Dear! If anything, I love you even more!! I may just show Dear Hubby this post. I'm not the only one!! My house looks like this every single day. I may just follow suit, and show (all 4 of) my followers exactly how I am. That sure beats trying to find a clean surface to take pictures of my thrifty finds today!

Brenda@ **Dragonflys and Stars** said...

You make me want to post pictures of the clumps of black dog hair all over my carpet and furniture. (Why my big black dog is blowing his coat in November, I have no clue!!) And I go ride horse instead of cooking, folding laundry, or vacuuming. I am pretty sure I'd be quite comfortable at your house!

Lori said...

Love your home. Love you. We've always said that my BGFF (you know the one with the immaculate house?) and I together would be the perfect woman. She cleans, I cook. Neither of us do both. I know... she cleans, I cook, you decorate!!

cottagewish said...

I totally needed to read this today! Thanks for the reality check and the belly laugh...I am so totally with you.

twinmommydiva said...

You're hilarious! I hope everything gets back to normal for you and the whole family!

GaKimmie said...

I was just asking my friend today what is NORMAL for a home? and I'm glad to see our nirmal is the same!! I have three small kids and my hubby is deployed. so there is laundry everywhere and dried mac n cheese in the kitchen! Thanks for being so honest!!

TheOldPostRoad said...

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST! I hate to clean, too! Maybe that is the common thread of home-decorating, crafty bloggers. My original goal was to make enough blogging (or selling art) to pay for a cleaning lady each week. I am not there, yet, but for some reason- I just keep on blogging. and buying things to decorate with, and buying more paint and more canvases (canvii) ??? Beats cleaning, I guess. (!)

Annette said...

I applaud you for your honesty! You are definitely not alone. If you only knew how many camera angles I play around with so the clutter won't be shown in the pics I post!

bringing up boys said...

I had a nightmare the other night that I had a client coming over and I could not find a clean room in the house to take them into. Then I woke up and was really disappointed. I thought as I walked from room to room, "It wasn't just a dream". I enjoyed your post. Now, I am going to go find your follower button! Blessings. Karyn

Tracychele @ The Week-Ender said...

I laughed so hard, and even got a little anxious thinking about what it would take for me to do that! You are awesome and we love ya for it! Most of us do live that way most of the time. Maybe a REAL HOME blog party is in order! You are so brave and funny and I admire your courage! Have a wonderful weekend! BTW, I read every comment to see what people were saying and I usually don't read every one! Great post!!

Rebekah@Red's Nest said...

I'm a new blogger and am so happy I found you and decided to became a follower. Just this post alone made it worth it. I'm cracking up as I write this. hahahahaha. Can you hear me? I have recently had a life changing event - after having a full-time (yes, 36 hours/week) housekeeper for 8 years I'm on my own. The FORMER housekeeper told me I was OCD. Well, now that I'm doing the cleaning myself that has flown out the window. I did log on to Flylady.net last week to try and get some help, but alas, it is 8:40 Saturday morning and I'm still under the covers struggling to turn on the tv. I really don't believe this is the real you though, because after reading your post from Wednesday, October 21, 2009 You wonder where I get it...I thought you were the perfect blogger for bliss - you just burst my bubble, but I'm still laughing my head off... Have a great weekend!

Jayme said...

Oh girl...you are brave, funny and real. Reading all the comments, I see how refreshing it is to everyone! It's so easy to portray a perfect world when you blog, I admire you for not doing that!

I'm a bit OCD about my house, and I can't function when things get out of order in certain rooms. But Lord, if you went in my basement, or my upstairs bedroom (no one ever does) I'd have to kill you. :-)

Thanks for being real.

Danielle @ Transforming Home said...

I love this post! I can totally relate to the Bakugan being stuck on things. So funny!

Danielle

Peanut-Butter Kitty said...

Thank you, your not alone. Sorta looks like home to me! Enjoyed the visit and the pictures.
:)Shelley

Suzie Button said...

My daughter sent me your link to this story, she knew it was ME in every single picture, and every single word you wrote! I WORK in a craft room, now that's crazy! My husband has refused to work on my computer needs because he says he can't GET to them because of all my crap! I just CAN'T put away when I'm done, anywhere! I feel deprived because I work a lot, so I craft to feel better, I make a huge mess which stays, I get depressed because it's messy, I go on blogs to cheer myself up and end up feeling depressed because I should have a house that is "put together" because, well, I WORK so much!! I have a 21 year-old whose bedroom is WORSE, way WORSE, than what you've shown, I beg, I plead, I give up, I'm training her to be a slob. Plus she drives my car because she just can't find the time to get her registration updated, so I'm working and she's driving my 2006 Beatle I waited years for. Ok, I better stop, I have to close the craft/office door, go to bed and so I can get up to work/craft/blog tomorrow. And I consider myself a generally happy person, ha,ha! Suzie

Terri Neumann said...

Can I just tell you that I love you for posting that! Sometimes I see all of these things that seem so perfect and I wonder how it is that I miss the mark so consistently. Thank you for being so talented and so human at the same time! You are fantastic! :D

Sue @ Laundry for Six said...

THANK YOU!!!

2browneyedbeauties said...

LOVE THIS POST!!! Thank you for keeping it real. I only have 2 kids (11 & 2), but that's enough to keep me busy, which is why my house lacks the attention it needs. Oh well, we try and that's what matters right?

Cinda said...

Okay...I've seen your reality...and I like you even more!! Thank you for this post! I love your blog, and, yes, I probably would have thought you lived in a pefectly-magazine-worthy home at all times! Doesn't everyone, but me!?!? I call myself a "recovering perfectionist"...and finally realized that "perfectionism" is a disease...and have now embraced a new mantra..."Life can be perfect without everything being perfect."

La TempĂȘte said...

You=awesome. Thanks for being honest and thank goodness my family is not alone in their mess making :D

CindyLou said...

Welcome to my world! Most of us live this way and are jealous of the "Others"!

Dena said...

I just found your blog through Becky of Sweet Cottage Dreams and I have to say as I sit here in my jammies at 12:00 in the afternoon (stuff to be done just waiting) I am filled with justification. Thanks ;)

Dena

Jen said...

It made me feel so much better to see this, because my house is always so messy while I spend so much time looking at pictures of other people's "perfect" houses. Thanks.

Hen Pecks said...

I DIG YOU! Finally a REAL person with a real house and kids and the hutzpah to admit it.

All those other "perfect" bliss-bloggers are in denial, as well as fictional creatures.

You can come to my place and put your feet up on my worn out coffee table anytime!

Mary said...

Found you through The Lettered Cottage. I think we may be long lost sisters separated at birth. Or maybe I'm your aunt or something. Anyway, you have perfectly described my messy life. I try to take only pretty pics, but it's getting harder and harder as the mess grows.

I think it is reproducing when the lights go out.

Thanks for this hilarious post! :)

Victoria said...

Thank you, thank you! As the SAHM of three boys ages 5, 3, and 18 mos, my house is always a disaster. Picking up after them would mean no sleep for me! Love, love, love the bakugans attached to everything. I have found them dangling from various pieces of furniture etc...

Anonymous said...

I think I love you! So many of us live like this some of the time, and it's such a relief, and so normal to see the pretty, arty decor right next to real life. Thanks for the break, and for the reminder that it's okay to have a life.

Alley

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing, now I don't feel so bad that my kitchen looks like a war zone, and at this point I think the dishes are sticking together! I LOVE this so much, so REAL! Thanks from a another REAL woman!

Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun said...

You have no idea how much I love you... Don't be scared! ;-P Just found your site (a friend linked me for your Coop Keeper post) and I l. m. a. o. THANK YOU! My blog sucks as I can't show my real voice (which is rude n sarcastic) for business reasons... My house is so similar to yours. Will look around (for hours) soon!
hugs,
Leslie

Shed Plans said...

I love your honesty.Very good.I also hate clean up dishes like you.I love your post.Shed Plans

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