Uh oh. Prepare yourself for my commentary on the whole 'follower' thing, anonymous commenters, and other non-niche items.

I've been wanting to say a big thank you for all the comments and suggestions about my blog.  I've been tweaking and playing around every since.  One gal in particular was very helpful, and she's so wonderful, I will be featuring her blog very soon....you'll be in for a super duper treat :)

But tonight I received a comment on that post that gave me pause, and although I responded within the comments (it was posted anonymously so no way to contact them via email), I wanted to address it here as well.  Just in case any of you wondered the same thing.  And so I could 'splain myself. 

The commenter wondered why I push my button on you guys but took down all your buttons as well as my blogroll.  Here's my answer (c&p'ed from the comment I left...I hope the person comes back to read this, but she didn't sound too happy with me so maybe I'm posting to the air).

I really try not to push anyone to take my button. It's there if you've been featured (and the only time I mention it), and some folks really like blog buttons on their sidebar, so I made one available. I removed my buttons because it was getting too crowded, and I don't like the clutter. I want a more streamlined look. Some blogs I used to visit were hard on the eyes with so much going on besides the actual post.

I will be adding back a blogroll as soon as I can figure out how I want to do it. I'm perusing others blogs for ideas since I have so many I like to read. I'd like to categorize them somehow...like crafty blogs, inspirational blogs, strictly home decor blogs....that kind of thing. To help folks more easily find what they're interested in.

Hope that explains where my brain is.  I didn't mean to offend anyone by removing the buttons or blogroll.  I just felt like if I put some up, I would need to put them all up, and that would take over my sidebar at this point.  Plus I don't want to leave anyone out.  If you all would like me to add back a blogger button section, then I will be happy to do so. Let me know in the comments.  

If I've been pushy about my buttons for my blog or link party, please forgive me.  I know I hate when other bloggers push their blog buttons or constantly ask for followers.  I have tried hard not to be pushy in any of my postings.  Obnoxious, yes.  Pushy, no. 

Honestly, I'm not sure where I'm going with this blog.  It seems to be all about getting followers and subscribers, but I want it to be about sharing and learning, laughing and making friends.  The only reason I see for getting more readers is to make money thru an online store or thru sponsorship/ads....neither of which I'm particularly interested in right now.  The whole follower thing feels lots like that old 'in crowd' garbage we played in highschool.  Like I want to go thru *that* again....I abhor popularity games. 

I don't give a flyin' flip who's in or out, whether I'm in or out, or whether the sky is really purple. 

Again, I have the google follower and subscriber crap over there so folks who are interested in my goofiness can get the play by play.  And my analytics say even though the numbers are growing, I get less than a 1/4th of those numbers actually reading me each time I post.  Those numbers are very deceptive. And my numbers lately have gone up AND down.  Not everyone is gonna jive with me, and that's ok.  I've unsubbed and stopped following many blogs as I've honed in on what I really want to spend my time reading online.  There's only so much time in the day, ya know? Nothing personal.

BUT, we all like to know what we have to say or show off is appreciated and noticed.  We are all envious of the big blogs with thousands of followers.  We all dream about what it would be like to be famous in blogdom and maybe get to sit on a panel at Blissdom. We want our picture taken with The Nester. We want people to affirm us, our talents, our measly efforts.  Blogging connects us to the big 'out there'.  That's the wonderful part.   But the dark side is the constant reminder of who has more followers/subscribers...I admit I feel giddy when my numbers go up, and something just a smidge shy of devastated when they drop.  How stupid is that?  That ain't bliss.  That's just dumb.

If I'm never in the 'in crowd' of blogland, I'm gonna be ok.  Truly.  If I get another anonymous comment like I did on that other post, though, I might throw in the towel.  PLEASE give me the benefit of the doubt, folks.  I'm just a mama who struggles with feeling significant like everyone else.  I'm just recording my thoughts and words and pictures in hopes that it makes someone smile or makes them feel normal amidst the tiny top 1% of mega-bloggers with it all together.  This isn't a contest right? 

I feel icky now.  Gonna go make hot chocolate and avoid the 'puter for the rest of the night.